Is socialising good for culture?
I was speaking to an HR director at a conference two weeks ago who was frustrated that people weren’t joining in on social activities, and "fun" workplace experiences. "We organise all these things," she said, "but half the team don't want to join in or be part of it. People still seem disconnected."
It's a conversation I have regularly in my work with different organisations in different sectors around the world (and a question we ask on the Five Cultures Quiz), and it raises a question worth asking: is socialising actually good for culture? The answer isn't as straightforward as you might think.
Let's start with the case for socialising. When done well, it can transform workplace relationships. I've seen teams who barely spoke to each other become genuinely collaborative after spending time together not working.
There's something powerful about seeing your colleague as a human being rather than just the person who sends you meeting requests. Socialising breaks down the artificial barriers we create during work. It lets people drop their professional masks and connect human-to-human.
Good socialising also creates shared experiences and stories that bind teams together. Those inside jokes, the memories of that time when Alex got completely lost trying to find the restaurant at lunch, or when Kai turned out to be brilliant at go karting despite claims to the contrary - these moments become part of the team's identity. They create a sense of belonging that's difficult to manufacture through team meetings alone.
And there's solid research backing this up. Teams that socialise together often show higher levels of trust, better communication, increased wellbeing and improved collaboration. When you know someone's backstory, their challenges outside work and what makes them laugh, you're more likely to give them the benefit of the doubt when things get stressful.
Yet, there are few issues which inevitably generate complications.
The first one is obvious, to me, at least. If you want to bring people together for work social events, then this is something that should happen in work time. It’s not something that you do after work, when - if we’re being honest - people just want to go home and spend time with loved ones.
If you want to arrange an alternate evening plan, brilliant, go for it. You just have to understand that this is not necessarily how people want to spend their spare time, and that’s fair enough.
Secondly, what managers consider to be fun, might not necessarily be what the team considers to be fun, which is why the programme of events should always be determined by the team. If the team has agency over the series of events designed to keep them connected to each other then they are far more likely to attend. Nobody wants fun to be ‘done’ to them.
Finally - and I don’t believe there’s enough appreciation of this - socialising can also be exclusionary. Traditional work socials can systematically exclude people, especially if they are after work. Parents who need to collect children, people who don't drink, those who can't afford the additional costs, employees with caring responsibilities, or simply those who find large social gatherings exhausting rather than energising.
That’s not to say that you have to pander to everyone’s whims - not everybody is going to love everything - but you do have to think deeply about events that generate emotional connection, rather than disconnection.
These complications can be further compounded by two other factors; competition and alcohol. If you’re pitting people against each other, then it ceases to be ‘fun’ for those who aren’t winning. This creates stress rather than reducing it, and can actually damage culture!
Whilst, in my opinion, too many workplace socialising events revolve around alcohol, which brings its own risks. I've seen careers damaged by behaviour at work events, inappropriate comments made after a few drinks, and the awkwardness that follows when Monday morning arrives.
Socialising should never be a substitute for addressing real cultural issues. I've worked with organisations that have spent thousands on team-building events whilst ignoring toxic managers, unclear expectations, or unfair workloads. Socialising became a band-aid covering much deeper wounds.
You can’t cure toxic management by taking everyone out for lunch.
So where does this leave us? In my experience, the best workplace cultures do socialise, but they do it thoughtfully. They create multiple types of social opportunities - lunch-and-learns, walking meetings, celebration breakfasts, volunteer days - that appeal to different preferences and circumstances. They don't make socialising mandatory, and they certainly don't make it the foundation of their culture strategy.
Most importantly, they use socialising to complement strong daily relationships, not create them from scratch. The teams that get the most value from social events are those that already have spent time building relationships, psychological safety, clear communication, and mutual respect in their everyday work.
The question then isn't whether socialising is good for culture - it's whether you're using it as a genuine expression of existing relationships or as a desperate attempt to create connection that's missing from your daily operations.
What's your experience - does socialising actually strengthen your culture, or does it just make you feel like it should?
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