Hand-me-downs
When we were kids Mum would happily take clothes from other parents in the neighbourhood in order to reduce the cost of clothing her three growing sons. They were known as hand-me-downs. Our style became the style that others had grown out of, until we did likewise, at which point the cycle would continue with others in the neighbourhood.
Some clothes wouldn’t fit, some styles we didn’t like, some colours were outright rejected (👋anything with the colour red in it!). However, it gave me an appreciation of kindness, providence and (of course) style which I’ve maintained to this day.
In my early employment days I applied the same logic (unconsciously) to my own development and it’s still something that I recommend people do today.
When we start work, most of the skills we learn are hand-me-downs and just like the clothes, we have to discern which ones are for us and which ones aren’t. Specifically I’m talking about the behaviours that others demonstrate to get their work done.
You will often hear people saying things like ‘if you want to get anything done around here you have to raise your voice’ or ‘make sure you copy everyone into that email’ and so on.
I was on the receiving end of similarly bad advice at various stages of my career (not just when I started) and kept numerous notebooks where I captured the behaviours and skills that I chose to copy and those that I rejected.
The lists were of equal length and were a great reminder of how to get work done in a way that was motivational, yet different to the way others were working.
I remember one instance as a senior director being told that I would ‘...only get one if you play politics. Sometimes you have to stand on people to get higher.’ No thanks.
Just as not all advice is good advice, not all hand-me-downs are for you. Choose wisely and you’ll build a ‘wardrobe’ of skills that you’ll be forever proud of.
