Drawing the line (and meaning it)

When I start working with new teams, most of them can tell me, roughly, what good behaviour looks like. Be kind. Communicate well. Don't throw each other under the bus. Above and below a line. They rattle them off and nod at each other. ‘Yes, that one.’

And they mean it.

And yet. When I ask them what their opportunities for improvement are, almost all of them are related to the ‘below the line’ behaviours they are so good at identifying.

Categorising something as above and below the line is a deceptively simple idea. 

You gather the team, you define what behaviours sit above the line i.e. the ones that reflect the values in action and what sits below: the blame-shifting, the passive aggression, the meetings after the meeting where the real decisions get made.

Lists are easy. Yet, the power is in a shared, written agreement. The moment where people look each other in the eye and say, ‘Yes. This is how we will do things here from now on and it’s documented as a reminder.’

The discussion, agreement and documentation is what makes it real. The willingness to hold each other to it - kindly, directly, consistently - is what makes it stick.

Without that, the line is just a suggestion. And suggestions, as anyone who's ever worked in a dysfunctional team knows, are the first thing to go when things get uncomfortable.

If you’re going to draw a line, it has to be meaningful.